Hawking the Scene

Yes We Can!

Six more days.

Zack Scott as Ashley Todd

This is hysterical.

International Relations: Palin vs. Hawking

There has been a lot of talk about Governor Sarah Palin's foreign policy experience, or lack thereof.  I would like to take this time to compare her International Relations experience with mine:

Palin:  She can see Russia from her house.

Me:  I've had International "Relations" with Joe Six Packs from the following countries:  U.K., Ireland, Canada, Mexico, Poland, Australia, France, Peru, Czech Republic, Spain, Italy, Germany, Israel, Lithuania, Romania, Iceland, Belarus, Russia and Ukraine.  And I policy-ied their foreign bodies real good.

Clearly, I am the winner of this Foreign Policy challenge.  That, or I'm just a whore on an international scale.

McCain vs. Obama Dance-Off!!!

I don't know which is better:  McCain krumping or the surprise guest throwing down at the end!
See for yourself.

Ha!

"Misses Palin...I want to fly into your airspase"

Russians, Vlad and Boris really love Governor Palin....so much that they've written a song about her, complete with occasional misspelled lyrics. 

Maverick John McCain

This is too funny. Good ol' Maverick John McCain will save the day.

More Fox News Hypocrisy

In this great compilation, courtesy of The Jed Report, Fox News consistently makes excuses for Sarah Palin spending $150,000 of RNC's money, yet, John Edward's $400 haircut created pandemonium.

I guess it's okay for the "average Joes" in the Republican party to look good and spend $150,000 of contributors' money, but it's not okay for the "elite" in the Democratic party to spend $400.  How many average hockey moms do you know who can afford $150,000 for a two-month wardrobe? 

*sigh*  Makes me wish I was an Average Joe.
I guess I'll have to settle on being a middle-class "elitist."

McCain Accidentally Says C*nt

In this clip, McCain accidentally says the word "cunt" instead of cut.  At least this time, he didn't angrily direct the term at his wife.

Understanding 'Real' America in Wasilla

Pure Genius.

Dear Red States:

 

Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro choice and anti war and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We wish you success in Iraq and hope that the WMDs turn up but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven

Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush

Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.